The tradition in my house is to have Chinese takeout on New Year’s Eve. I know. It’s kinda strange. But anyway...
My fortune cookie had this goodie in it: “You will win success in whatever you adopt.”
My girl hearing the adopt part got all excited: Yes, you’re gonna adopt a baby this year.
Me (choking on apple cider): Um...what?
Girl: I always wanted a little sister.
Girl: Once the boy leaves we can make his room into a nursery.
Me: No. I got dibs on it for an office.
Girl: But it would be fun to have a little sister. I can buy it onesies from Hot Topic. Paint her nails. Take her shopping with me.
Me: Like a pet?
Girl: I could help take care of her.
Me: Like your hamster? Hm...whatever happened to it? Didn’t it die...? Probably from a broken heart and neglect? And don’t forget the goldfish. They lived a whole twenty-four hours.
Girl: You know what? You’re like that one nerdy, crying kid on the school bus that no one liked to sit next to. Always bringing everyone down.
Me: Pessimism is a talent that only gets better with age, dear.
Happy New Year!